Grandma's Viewing

Today was my Grandma Parry's viewing.  Sad and happy.  Seriously there are not enough amazing words in the English language to describe her.  I'm glad my mom is with her now.  My grandma missed my mom so much.  As sad as my grandma's death is, the timing couldn't have been better for us.  We were lucky enough to see her two days before she died.  The kids don't have school today, so they won't miss a single thing.  Mike was able to take time off of work.  Closer to Thanksgiving and Christmas it is harder to do that.  I wish it would have worked out for some of my other cousins.  Especially Brooke.  I wish I could have seen her!

Anyway, Mike came home around lunch time and we headed out in the motorhome about 1:00.  My dad, Brett and Abby went with us.  My dad, Brett and I played Ticket to Ride on the way up.  That was an experience!  The trains kept moving all over the table.  It was a little difficult, but not impossible.  Plus, I won.  We are parking our motorhome in front of my grandma's house.  Heather's family, Matt's family, Brett, John and Mallory are all staying over.  Brett walked over to the church once we got there.  He called me and said to come over, but not to bring the kids yet.  Mike, my dad and I walked over.  My grandpa was there talking to Brett.  I love him.  This is going to be so hard for him.  He was so wonderful to my grandma.

Grandma & Grandpa

 Grandpa, Grandma, Stephanie, Matt

Several of my aunts and cousins were getting things ready when we got there.  The place sure looks great.  They had a spot where they put a grandma blanket.  I asked if I could put Jorja's and Preston's blanket there.  They let me.  I'm not sure if they wanted to let me but they didn't complain.  That was nice of them.  Preston loved seeing his blanket when we brought him over.  I went back and got myself and my kids ready.  Bubs and Ange hadn't arrived yet, so we took Abby in her play clothes.  She is so dang cute, so it was okay.

Grandma's handmade corner

 Well I added more than one.  Whoops.

 But look at this boy.  He loved seeing his blankie on the table.

 Preston

We walked across the field to get to the viewing.  I told my kids that they needed to be calm and under control.  Mike said, "So get all your wiggles out now."  Preston took off and did a head first dive on the grass.  Luckily he didn't get grass stains all over his clothes since he is wearing them tomorrow!

My goofball

These pictures have been hanging in my grandma's house for several years.  One of them is an Ensign article titled "Halfpenny and a Pearl". It is a story about her grandfather.  He was disowned when he joined the church and was given a penny for his inheritance.  The other picture is of some of the earliest settlers of Ririe, including her ancestors.

This is a flower arraignment that is supposed to represent her grandchildren.  She had 28 grandchildren and there are 28 roses.  They also put apples in the arraignment because my grandma could break an apple in half with her bare hands.

I am extremely thankful that we live in Utah.  I wouldn't have been able to bring my entire family with me if we still lived in Georgia.  I am glad they were able to come.  This is their last grandma.  Sad.

Maysen, Jorja, Stockton, Preston, Stephanie

It was wonderful to see several cousins that we don't get to see very often.  My grandma would have loved so many family members around.  She loved her family.

Brett & Justin

 Debie with her newest granddaughter Adison

 Sam, Dad, Anne, Matt, Brett

John and Cassie left at 4:30 in the morning, I think.  They drove from Oregon and made it just in time.

 John, Brandon, Mallory, Trevor, Cassie

Cassie & Brandon, Dad, Matt, John

Mike and I took our kids, Abby, Mallory and Trevor back to Grandma's House after awhile.  Bubs came about fifteen minutes later and was able to get Abby in a dress and bring her back.  Maysen had fun playing with Mallory.  Mallory and Trevor sure had a long day today!

Mallory & Maysen

Purple girls!

I went back with Bubs' family and enjoyed the company of my family. They are the best!  My brother Mike tried to convince Lincoln to get a haircut.  Lincoln said that he would have to pay him $20.  Mike told him he would.  Lincoln started backtracking and didn't want to do it. Bubs says he likes his hair long because he thinks the girls like it. Funny kid.

Abigail, Ella, Lincoln, Amelia, Angela

Mike, Bubs, Abbs, Dad

 Grandpa & Steve

 My mom's siblings that are alive: John, Jackie, Steve

My family had already left when we got around to taking a Millburn picture.  We are missing (of the ones who were able to come) my family and Mallory.  I like this picture and I love that Abby girl!

Millie, Ange, Bubs, Matt, Mike, Dad,

Brett, Trevor, John, Cassie, Brandon

Ella, Lincoln, Abby, Stephanie, Skye, Larkin

I love these next few pictures.  Larkin was mesmerized by Grandma Parry.  Larkin is named after Grandma Parry's mom.  Her name was Harriett Larkin Borrowman Lovell.  It was so sweet watching her.  The first picture is my absolute favorite.  My grandma looks so beautiful and peaceful.  She must feel so free now.

 Grandma & Larkin

 Skye & Larkin

 Skye, Grandma & Larkin

 Saying goodbye

 Skye

 I love you.

Brett's Here!

Funerals are sad and happy.  I am happy that I will get to see every one of my brothers this weekend.  Brett flew in from Virginia today!  He wanted to go to my mom's grave.  I made him let me take a picture.

Brett

Mike, Stockton, Brett and I went to dinner at a place called Pizza Limone.  It was pretty good but I am glad the other kids didn't want to come.  It was fancy pizza.  Brett and I had pears on our pizza. Blackberries was another choice.  Pineapple was not.  Jorja would not like that!

The kids don't have school tomorrow so I let them stay up late.  We went night swimming.  Matt came over and swam with us too.  After swimming we had a game of Dominion, of course!

Table

My nephew left on his mission today.  Connor will be heading to the Philippines.  I hope his mission is awesome and he looks back on this time of his life with joy.

I watched Anne for a few hours today.  I went to Matt and Sam's house. Matt was surprised to see me.  I didn't notice until a few hours later that Sam had texted me saying Matt would bring Anne to our house because their house was still a disaster.  I looked around at their 'disaster' house.  Whatever.  If they didn't know someone was coming and their house looks like this while they are painting and still moving in?  Wow.

Instead of going around to the side door to get to Matt & Sam's house, I went in through my dad's front door.  The second I walked in I noticed the table was missing.  I have many, many memories at this table.  It was the table I grew up with.  I remember countless family dinners. Saying prayers by kneeling at the chairs.  Laughing so hard and seeing tears running down my mom's cheeks because Matt was so, so funny. Watching my mom help my brothers with their homework.  Especially Matt who would sit at the table for hours before he was finished.  I love that table.  Now it is gone.  I asked my dad what happened to it.  They gave it to Brittany.  Just like that.  To say I was mad and hurt is an understatement.  We have so few memories of our mom.  To give something that once belonged to us to the new family.  Once again. That hurts.  Just when you think you won't get hurt anymore and you let your guard down, bam!

I hate cancer.  Sometimes I imagine what our life would be like if our mom was still alive.  My family would be so different.  I hate it when bad things happen and people say, "It's for the best."  That is not true. There is not one good thing that came out of my mom dying.  Not one. At least for my family.  Nothing good came out of John losing his mom at 13 and Matt losing his mom at 14.  I'm going to stop there because I'm making myself upset and I don't want to cry.  I wish my mom was alive.  I wish my kids were lucky enough to have a grandma.  I get jealous as I watch other families.  Especially my cousins' families, like the Fullers.  It's a weird jealousy, because I don't want them to experience what I have experienced, but as I watch their families I'm able to see what our future would have been like.  It would have been awesome.  It makes me acutely aware of what I have lost.  My mom was amazing and would have continued to be amazing.  I wish she could have loved my children as much as my grandma loved me.  Don't tell me that she loves them because I know that.  It is not the same thing. At all.  Losing a mom stinks and it never gets better.  The hurt isn't always as constant and you can have a wonderful life, but she is never a part of it.  It doesn't matter how many pictures you have or stories to tell, she is gone.  I know I'll see her again and I know I was extremely lucky to have such an amazing person raise me but sometimes I just want more.  I want her.  In this life.  I am selfish that way.

BBQ at the Park

Jorja had an orchestra barbecue at the park today.  She had been looking forward to this for a long time.  I brought her there, but she didn't really enjoy herself at all.  She didn't talk to anyone.  She didn't know anyone.  Finally Will came and sat next to her.  He has always been so kind.  He was in our ward when we moved into this ward, but moved out shortly after.  He has such a good heart and I'm grateful for him.  Thankful that he would notice Jorja was all alone.  I was with her, but I was trying to give her space so she could meet others.  That is such a hard thing for her to do.

Today for Young Womens' we worked at trimming graves at an old cemetery.  Stockton came to this straight from diving.  It was a combined activity obviously.  I really enjoyed doing this.  The weather was perfect and the kids worked hard.  Nicely done.

Grandma Parry Died Today

I am so sad, and happy, and sad, and happy.  I'm sad that my grandma died today.  I am happy that she is with my mom and her other two daughters right now.  I'm sad that they are not with me.  I'm happy that she loved me so much.  My mom wasn't ever blessed with the privilege of being a grandma.  My grandma filled this role for them.  My kids love my grandma to pieces.  It is impossible not to love her.  She gives of herself completely.  She loves with her whole heart.  She is one of a kind.  I love her more than I can adequately express.  I am so thankful that Mike talked me into going to Idaho a few days ago.  I'm thankful that we brought our kids.  She is just everything.

This picture below is one of my favorite all time pictures.  I even have a similar picture with Jorja and Preston, but I'm not sure where that is. Look how happy and at peace my children are.  Look how loved and safe they are.  This is my grandma.

Maysen, Grandma, Preston

 Heather, Stephanie, Jordyn & Grandma ~ I love this picture too.

 Grandma & Stephanie

 She's amazing

 Grandpa, Grandma & Stephanie

I asked my kids their favorite memory of Grandma.  BLANKETS!  My kids each have a baby blanket my grandma made them.  They are covered with holes and holding together by threads.  And I love it.  My kids have loved these blankets to shreds.  It makes me happy.

They also talked about how Grandma and Grandpa would make a special effort to come see us.  Even when Grandma was really, really sick.  They would come to Lagoon and stay for several hours and drive home.  They made it every year.  We have even been surprised by them at the cabin.  I loved that!  They would drive up and see us for an hour or so and drive back home.  Every time that happened we felt so special and loved.

Grandpa, Grandma, Preston and Jorja

 Grandma & Preston ~ loved, loved, loved!

Several years ago I asked Grandma if she could make Maysen another blanket.  We picked out the fabric and grandma recreated Maysen's baby blanket, but a little bigger.  Maysen loves it.  A few months later we got a package from Grandma.  We were living in Georgia at the time and there were many days when I felt all alone in this world.  I felt that if something happened to my family, like we were in a plane or car crash and everyone died, no one would even notice.  They'd be sad for a bit but it would be more like an after thought sad.  Like a story.  It is hard living so far away and not having a mom.  Unless that has happened to you, there is no way you can understand the deep feelings and the deep pain.  Anyway, Jorja got a package from Grandma.  Inside was a new blanket for her covered in frogs!  I remember trying to hold back my tears.  I felt so, so loved.  My kids don't have a grandma on either side of the family.  Mike's mom died right after Jorja turned 3. My kids have never experienced a grandma surprise.  This was absolutely unbelievable for me.  Jorja still sleeps with this blanket every night.

Jorja right after she got a surprise blanket

Imagine our surprise when we looked closer at the blanket and saw that my Grandma had hand-stitched JORJA LOVES FROGS!!! and RIB-IT-RIB-IT-IT-IT.  Holy cow did we love that!  How unbelievably amazing is my Grandma?

Jorja was told that this was the last blanket Grandma Parry ever made. Boy am I thankful that she did this for her.

 Grandma & Jorja

When I had Stockton I really wanted to have my Grandma come and help me.  Mike's mom came for Maysen, but she couldn't come for Stockton because her own mom was too sick.  I was on my own for Jorja and Preston.  Not my favorite memories.  My grandma had told me she would love to come. Stockton was due on her birthday, March 2.  Instead he came January 28th.  On a leap year.  Seriously Stockton! Always thinks everything is a waste of time.  Even growing in my womb.  I had mailed my grandma a frequent flier ticket she could use the day before he was born, still thinking I had several weeks of being pregnant.  My grandma didn't wait for the ticket to come.  She bought her own and came to me!  It was a HUGE help!  Stockton had to stay in the hospital for a few extra days. I was able to be at the hospital with him while she took care of Maysen.  Not sure what we would have done without her.

Stockton & Grandma

 Grandpa, Stockton, Maysen and Grandma

 Grandma & Stockton

 I love how she makes everyone so happy

 and she makes them feel so important.

Maysen has always had a special relationship with my grandma. Grandma adores Maysen.  The feeling is mutual.  I just loved watching them together.

Grandma & Maysen

 Seriously!  Look at the two of them together!

 They are adorable!

 Preston, Grandpa, Stephanie, Grandma, Maysen, Jorja, Stockton

These series of pictures remind me so much of them.  Always with family, loving the cabin and having fun.

Grandma, Grandpa & Steve

I know it was time for my grandma to go.  She lived a marvelous life. She loved and was loved.  We will miss her more than I can comprehend.  I am thrilled that my mom gets to be with her now. Grandma deserves some time with her girls!  We'll love you forever and miss you always Grandma!

Grandma & Maysen