Have you ever come across something that stopped you in your tracks? Something that broke your heart and filled you with such love at the same time? That happened to me five years ago. Fifteen years ago today my mom died. I still have a hard time with it. There are no words to express how incredibly hard it is not to have her experience this life with me. I miss her more than I can say. Five years ago today, on her tenth anniversary I went to her grave. The picture below is what I saw.
I cry just looking at that picture. I am so glad I have it though. Notice the flowers above my mom's grave. It is actually a boutonniere. It is my brother Brett's boutonniere to be exact. Brett was married the day before this picture was taken. When I saw those flowers I couldn't believe Brett & Rachel took the time to visit mom's grave after they were married. How wonderful. I could feel the love Brett has for her by looking at those precious flowers. How amazing of Rachel to let him come. How terribly awful that she wasn't able to be at his wedding. Brett, I'm pretty sure that was your boutonniere. Now that I think about it, I guess it could have been someone else. Other people did have flowers that day. It sure looks like the one you wore though. You did pick a wonderful bride.
Rachel & Brett
G'pa & G'ma Millburn, Rachel, Brett, G'ma & G'pa Parry
I got to talk to my brother John today. He is in Ohio and has a little baby I haven't even seen. He mentioned how mom died when he was 13. John has been alive more without a mom than with one. Matt mentioned the same thing. Matt said he was 14 years and 10 months old . . . exactly. While talking to John about this John said, "I was short changed." Isn't that the truth. We all have been short changed. Me, my brothers, my dad, my kids, my nieces and nephews . . . nothing is better with her gone. Life still is wonderful, but I wish I could enjoy it with her. I do tend to think that no one was short changed more than Matt & John. 13 & 14 is way too young to lose a mom.
Anyway, I wanted to spend the day with my family. Bubs & his family came over and so did Matt. My dad brought Max and pizza. I made a chocolate & lemon pie. (Two different pies) It was fun just to be around each other. We didn't do anything special, but it was really nice.
Ella & Jorja
After dinner and playing, we went down to Smith's so the kids could each pick out a balloon. Then we went to my mom's grave.
Maysen, Preston, Jorja, Lincoln, Abbs, Stockton, Ella
Abbs is trying to eat her balloon!
Abbs, Ange, Bubs, Lincoln, Ella
Maysen, Stephanie & Preston, Stockton, Mike, Jorja
Ella
Abigail
Matt
After visiting her grave, Bubs & Ange went home. Matt came and played a game of Pillage & Plunder with Maysen and I. I won. It was pretty awesome. I came out of nowhere and was able to pull a surprise victory. Oh the glory! Thanks to my dad and my brother's for spending the day with me. Thanks to my kids (older) for being great all day. We sure did miss Brett, Mike & John and their families. Matt & Bubs mapped out a wiffle ball field . . . hope we can all play one day. Mostly I would like to thank my wonderful mother for giving me such an amazing childhood. I would rather have her and lose her early than have someone else for my lifetime. I love you mom!
My mom & me (Stephanie)
2 comments:
so i hate to diminish the memory you have of that day, but it's actually not brett's boutonniere, but part of my bouquet. Yes, I'm shallow enough I want the credit for that. I'll never for get that day. We also went to boondocks funland with you guys so it wasn't like we were on a "honeymoon schedule." Anyways, it was fun. I miss your mom and wish she could give me advice and tell me things about Brett when he was a baby. Someday she will!
Well....I was so surprised that you had been there. At least I got that right! That was awesome of you to go to Boondocks with us right after you were married. You are pretty darn cool.
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