Hot Pickle

Jorja had a good day at school today, which was great. I was a bit worried about her, but she handled herself just fine. I went to lunch with my cousins and it was so fun! Heather wasn't able to come this time. Savannah was in town for a doctor appointment. We had lunch at Blue Lemon with Savannah, Debie, Larkin (with Rennie & Micah) and Jordyn. We stayed for a few hours. I loved it.

I got to talk to Stockton yesterday. He is so happy right now. He is loving his companion Elder White. They have a baptism scheduled for Saturday for someone named Ron. He asked Stockton to baptize him and Stockton is thrilled. Hopefully all works out there. Stockton sent this picture of him on p-day. He had lost a bet and had to bike with a hot pickle in his mouth. Oh the things that will entertain missionaries!

Elder Stockton Smith

Maysen had her last day of class today. She had to do a giant presentation and sent me this picture of a poster she had made. She ended up getting a great score on the project and ended up with an A in the class.

Jorja broke up with Mitchell today. That surprised me. She came upstairs before work and said she just broke up with Mitchell over text. She wanted to do it in person, but never got the chance. I had no clue this was coming. I am relieved and happy about it. Jorja isn't sad, so this is great.

Betrayed

I was really sad today. Just super, super sad. I did finish Amy's stocking though. After I finished I just laid in bed. I had no desire to get up. I just felt like a complete failure. It feels like what I spent my life doing the last 21 years was a big bust. I know my other kids don't feel like Jorja does, still I just felt like I failed. The frustrating thing is we have rarely had any kind of fighting in our house. Ever. Mike and I don't fight with each other. The kids don't fight with each other. Contention just hasn't been a part of our life. Until now. I don't know how to handle it. I feel so lost. I have spent a lot of time praying and thinking over the last few days. I couldn't figure out how Jorja and her friends could spend so long at Sonic. What is there to do? Today I realized that she must have met Mitch there. I just knew it. I didn't talk to Jorja at all today until I went downstairs and told her it was time to get her passport and we needed to leave now. We drove to City Hall in complete silence. I paid over $200 for her passport and we walked to the car. I was so mad on the way home. I just couldn't handle it. I finally asked her if Mitch was at Sonic with her. She said, "Only for a second." I told her she was lying. No way he was only there for a second. Then she said it was five minutes. I asked her how he even knew she was at Sonic. Did she text him and ask him to come. Nope. They stopped by Chick-Fil-A after work to see him and hung out with him there too. I was furious. Absolutely furious. I yelled at Jorja. A lot. I am so frustrated. I have no idea what to do. Everything I have tried doesn't work. I guess I will try yelling now. I am so incredibly sick of this. I'm sick of her lying to me. I'm sick of her disobeying me. I'm sick of her disrespecting me. How did we get here? Jorja and I used to be so close. Incredibly close. Now I've lost her. I feel broken.

Well, that wasn't the worst part of today. Jorja had work from 4-10:30. She was closing, which means she could be back really late. Turns out she got home a little before midnight. While she was at work I was thinking, praying and crying. All of a sudden it dawned on me that she took Mitchell to the canyons with her. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew it was true. Mike came home and I told her about my day. I told her how I lost my temper and yelled at Jorja. I told him that she met Mitch on Monday. I told him that I bet the girls brought Mitch with them in the canyons yesterday. Mike said there was no way she would do that. No way. I wanted to believe him. I didn't think she would do that, yet I knew she did. I know Jorja thinks I have hated Mitch from the beginning, but she doesn't understand that I feel like I have been prompted with warnings from the beginning. I didn't believe Jorja would disobey us this badly, yet I felt Heavenly Father was telling me she did. It's hard to explain. Anyway, Mike and I were in bed when Jorja came home. We asked her to come in and talk to us. I asked her if Mitch went with her up to the Canyons yesterday. She said no. I put my hand on her chin and made her look me in the eyes and I asked her again. Tears came to her eyes and she whispered yes. I heard Mike gasp and I fell a little backward. Even though I knew this had happened, I still had a hard time processing this. How did Jorja justify this? Both Mike and I were clear that she was not allowed to take him with her. We ended up talking until 2:00 in the morning. Luckily Mike was there because he kept things calm. He is really good at that. We had a good conversation, but this just stinks. Mike took away her car and her phone. She isn't going to be allowed to see Mitch for a long time, as well as hanging out with Hailey or Emily. Hailey and Emily both knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jorja was not supposed to bring Mitch to the canyons. I can not believe that all three of the girls thought this was a good idea. I am furious with all three of them. I have no idea what to do and I have no idea how to parent Jorja. Everything I try blows up in my face. I know Jorja and Mitch see themselves as a Romeo and Juliet couple because I have been against this from the beginning. I have been against this because Jorja has lied to me about everything to do with Mitch. Everything. One of the things that bothers me about Mitch is he knows I don't like him. Knowing that, I still allowed him to take my daughter out on a date. Instead of doing everything he could to prove to me I could trust him with my daughter he drove her to a make-out spot and convinced her to get in the back seat of his car with him. Why would I ever let him take her out again? I know teenagers do these things, but I don't care. They don't see that they are playing with fire. I know Jorja is a great kid. She is absolutely amazing. I love her so much it hurts. But she makes terrible choices. One of her arguments is, "Everyone does it!" Like that is supposed to make everything okay? I know she tells people how crazy I am. I know her friends think I'm overprotective and feel bad for Jorja for having me as a mom; but I feel like I'm fighting for her life. I am glad that Mike was there for this conversation. He is amazing at calming situations down. Everything felt peaceful when we finally went to bed. Still, how are we going to make it through the next two and a half years?

Triple Date

Jorja had been planning a triple date with Hailey and Emily all week long. Jorja set up Hailey with Ben and Emily with Tyler. I'm not sure if Hailey has ever met Ben before, he goes to a different school, but Emily is friends with Tyler. The plan was as soon as Jorja got off work she would pick up everyone. They were going to go on a hike and to Pizza Limone for dinner. Jorja texted Tyler a little before she got off work and asked him if he could send his address to her. He replied, "Can't come got shiz to do" Wow. Jorja was not happy. They then had to scramble to find Emily a date. She met someone yesterday and texted him to see if he could come. He could, but couldn't make it until 6:00. She was really excited about that. Except, he didn't get home as early as he thought and was still in Evanston, Wyoming. So, the girls went and picked up the other two boys still trying to figure out what to do. Ben called one of his friends and he said that he would love to come. Emily now had a date! They picked up the friend and he had another friend with him, so Emily ended up with two dates. Jorja said she had a great time and the triple date ended up being so fun.

Mitchell & Jorja

 Spencer and new Tyler, or new Tyler and Spencer....not sure...

 Hailey & Ben

 Jorja & Mitch

After the hike and pizza the kids came over here and played Jackbox games for the rest of the night. We heard lots of laughing, so sounds like they had a great time. Jorja said Emily walked both of her dates up to the door at the same time. Ben walked Hailey up to her door, but then Hailey ended up going through her garage so she walked back with him until she got there. Jorja and Mitchell walked Ben up to his door. Then Jorja walked Mitchell to his door. She thought that was hilarious. I'm glad that after all the stress of putting the date together it ended up being a good experience. At least she didn't throw up four times on this one.

Valentine's Day

Right after Stockton left for his mission I saw this pillow at Smiths. Wow! How perfect! Now every cactus reminds me of Stockton. When I came back from dropping Jorja off at school, this was on my bed. What a perfect Valentines Day present.

Stephanie

Today was also Stockton's p-day! Yay! Yay! Yay! He got our brownies package and loved it. He also got a package from Preston that made him really happy. For scouts they made missionary packages and Preston left him a nice note in it. Stockton sounds great. He says the MTC has flown by. He really likes his companion, Elder Womack. One funny thing is Elder Womack hates elevators. They make him lightheaded. Stockton takes the stairs with him to their classroom. On the 5th floor. Which is 120 stairs each way, so about 1000 stairs a day. His math makes me laugh. Especially when he was talking about taking a knife and figuring out the volume of the cereal dispenser and the bowl then converting cubic knives to bowls. Hahaha. That kid cracks me up! We also got an email from the mission in Arizona. It had Stockton's schedule for the first two days he will be here. I loved that! Mike said that is much better than being dropped off in the middle of Brazil and having to sleep on a church floor for a week while looking for a place to stay. Yikes! Stockton sent this picture of him and his friend John. The guy in the middle is the choir director. He has also directed the Mormon Tabernacle Choir before, as a guest director I think. Stockton said he and John were taking a picture when this guy stepped right in between them. Haha! Stockton is going to miss running into John. I'm glad they had each other up at Utah State. They really got along well.

John, Choir director, Stockton

Jorja went with some of the student government kids after school to a retirement home. They had a dance. She got to dance with old people. She said it was so much fun. When she came home, Evan's mom pulled up right behind her. Evan, Drew and Shafer had brought her flowers and a blanket. They had a card that said they hoped she started feeling better. Jorja has missed a lot of school with her mono. Student government with Shafer is the first class of the day on A days and Chinese with Evan is the first class of the day on B days. The first class is for sure the hardest for her to make it to. I think Jorja vented to Evan a few days ago about how tired she was of being sick. She told me that she doesn't even remember what it feels like to be healthy anymore. Drew called her when we were driving to Wicked yesterday to check up on her. These boys are really good to her. Especially Evan and Drew. Drew is a huge reason why Jorja was elected her freshman year. He campaigned for her so hard. He was not shy and is hilarious. He made a big difference. Evan was Jorja's rock last year. Especially when her heart was broken. Evan was there for her. Evan is my favorite. He is such a good kid. They made Jorja's day today. She absolutely loves the blanket they brought her, but I didn't get a picture of it.

Jorja, Drew, Shafer, Evan

 Tulips from the boys

Jorja had a date with Mitchell today. This is the kid she wrote me a long note about begging me to let her have a date with him. She told me that they talked and agreed they would just be friends so they could hang out together. Mitchell brought her flowers, chocolate and a card. Hmmmm. Very friendly. Just kidding. It is Valentines Day, so that was nice of him.

Mitchell's flowers

Mitchell took Jorja to get sushi and then they went to a movie. She seemed to have a great time and Mike and I were both very happy that she made her curfew.

Mitchell

Jorja came into our room and was telling us about her date. I asked her a question, which I can't even remember what it was now. (I'm about two weeks behind on the blog. Ugh.) Anyway, we ended up getting into an argument. I don't even know how that happened. I didn't want it to happen and it wasn't my intention. I made her sad after she had had such a good day. Jorja asked if she could talk to Mike alone for awhile. I left them alone for about 30 minutes. I wish Jorja and I could get our relationship back. I just need her to be 100% honest with me. I know she hides things because she thinks about Mitchell because she knows I don't like him. I don't like him because she isn't honest with me about him. Which makes her hide things, which makes me mad. It's a vicious cycle. We are both tired of it. I really didn't mean to make her mad today.

Sick and Sleepy

Jorja didn't make it to school on time today. I could not get her up. It is easy to tell the difference when the mono is the problem and when she just doesn't want to wake up. Today was 100% mono. I think she overdid it on Saturday and is now paying the price. I called and talked to my best friends at the attendance office. I told them she is going to try and check in at the end of 5th period. Well.....she missed all of 5th and all of advisory. She did get there in time for math, but I had to call the attendance office and change her time.

I finally finished Stockton's brownies and MAILED them! Yay! He will get one package from us while he is at the MTC! Even though I started working on the brownies last Monday, they still tasted great. They are Stockton's favorite.

Jorja's seminary teacher is quite excited she showed up for seminary!

Preston came home from school sick today. His throat is pretty red and hurting. Hopefully he'll be able to sleep it off. It feels like he has been sick a lot lately. Mike made me laugh today. I took a picture and sent it to Jorja. This was our conversation:

Mike: It's so late. I'm super tired.

Me: Alexia, what time is it?

Alexia: It's 8:23 pm

Hahahahaha! We are old!

Sleepy Mike

I was up really late talking to Jorja. She wrote me this long letter asking if she could go out with Mitchell on Valentine's Day. I am very anti Mitchell. Mostly because how things started with him, which involved Jorja lying to me. I can not stand being lied to. Instead of grounding her from everyone, I just grounded her from Mitchell. She begged me to let her go out with him on Valentine's Day. She promised to keep her room clean, get her grades up, talk to me about everything, not kiss him, and do anything I want her to do. I actually prayed about this. I still don't feel good about Mitchell, but I felt it was okay to let her go out on this date with him. I hope I don't regret this.

Letters of Recommendation

Stockton met with President Rich for some temple prep classes. He got both of them done today. I didn't get a chance to talk to him about how he felt about it because I was on the phone with Evan's mom. I also talked to Rachel today, and that was nice. I talked to Evan's mom for a long time. Jorja and Evan don't hang out like they used to, so I don't have a chance to interact with her very often. I called Megan today. Yesterday I heard a rumor that the district is going to move the Chinese program over to Corner Canyon and have the Alta kids go there. It is frustrating because Corner Canyon is the new school. It looks like a college campus, everything is so nice. It is also overcrowded. Why would they want to stuff a bunch more students in there. Corner Canyon is known for their money. It's flaunted and talked about. Their parents usually get what they want too. Not a fan of this idea. Some Alta parents have set up a meeting with the superintendent on Wednesday. I'm going to try and go to it.

Jorja has been super busy lately. Morp is finally over, thank goodness. The quarter ends on Thursday. She is trying to get her grades decent before that. She also has wanted to apply to be an exchange student in Taiwan for a month this summer. It is for a leadership thing. She would be able to go to ten different high schools and meet the students there. It sounds perfect for her. It is a very competitive program and requires three letters of recommendation. She received two of them today. Both of these are from the Chinese teachers she has now. She is in the concurrent program. She has an Alta teacher and a teacher from the University of Utah that comes down once a week to meet with the kids. It's really cool. Both of the Chinese teachers wrote her glowing letters of recommendation. Jorja couldn't believe how nice they were. Jorja forgets sometimes how amazing she actually is.

Jorja had work today. It worried me because she was going to be working with Mitchell. I don't want her to kiss Mitchell at work. I started getting worried that they would get into a habit of having their breaks at the same time and deciding to go on 'walks' during their breaks. I didn't want her to kiss him after work either. I know I shouldn't be this worried after one peck, but I really am. I felt strongly all last week that she was going to kiss someone on Morp and it was not a good thing. Now I am just extremely paranoid. Before Jorja left for work I talked to her about not kissing Mitchell. I told her it would be a bad idea to kiss him at work. She should not do it. She thought I was ridiculous, but I wanted to be clear. Apparently Saturday when I asked her not to kiss anyone or pair off with anyone she thought I was talking about Gabe. So frustrating! I am super clear and she chooses to interpret what I am asking anyway she pleases. The only thing that made me feel better about sending her to work was she isn't closing tonight. She ended up texting me saying she would be late because it was super busy. Then she texted asking if she could wait until Madison's dad came. Madison was sad because a boy there was being rude to her. When Jorja got home we went and picked up Madison. We played some Jackbox games with her. She was good at it. The only picture I have was from Jorja though. The problem was: I don't have time to take a shower. Jorja meant to write Don't. This is what it turned out as. Hahaha.

We dropped Madison off and I talked to Jorja for awhile tonight. One of her friends was not being very nice to her. He found out she kissed Mitchell on Saturday. He did not take it well. He sent her messages. He subtweeted her a lot. I guess subtweeting is when you put something on twitter, don't say who you are talking about, but it is obvious to everyone who you are talking about. Usually it's not very nice. He told her that he had lost a lot of people in his life, dealt with a lot of heartache, had broken bones - but nothing has hurt him as much as when she told him she kissed Mitchell. Well Jorja, there are consequences to things. She has messed up several friendships over kissing. Sometimes with the boy she kissed, sometimes with people she hurt because of the kiss. Kissing is overrated. Especially in high school. I wish Jorja realized that.

Morpity Morp Morp Morp

So.....it looks like Stockton has been messing with my computer. My original title was MORP. Super creative, I know. Jorja had to work for four hours today. She came home and fell asleep for a bit. I ran to the store to pick up some last minute things she needed. I felt I needed to talk to her before she went. I just felt super anxious about some things. As soon as I got home from the store I went downstairs and talked to her. I talked to her about how she is in such a good position to make a difference in so many people's life. She has such a knack at making other people feel important. I love that about her. I talked to her about how it is so good she doesn't have a boyfriend. This way she can bring joy to lots of people instead of just focusing on one person. I told her that I didn't want her to kiss anyone tonight. That is what I was really worried about. I felt she was in a vulnerable place tonight. She has worked so hard on Morp and is soooooo stressed. Not only about Morp, but about her grades. Her body is also worn down. She has been sick for so long. I just had a really bad feeling about that. Anyway, Jorja rolled her eyes at me and said, "I'm not going to kiss anyone mom." I mean, she hasn't kissed anyone for a long time, but still.....I was worried.

Mike and I had to be there before Jorja. I wanted to be one of the first parents to arrive, because I wanted the spot we had at the Christmas dance last year. We got to play on rolling chairs and it was so much fun! I kept asking Jorja to make sure I got that spot and make sure I had chairs to play on. She did not. When we walked up to the table, Packer was there waiting for us. He said in a super serious voice, "I need to talk to you and your husband." I thought he was going to give us a lecture to not play on the chairs. I started kind of jumping on my toes and saying, "Please, please, please. We will do our jobs. Please let us play on the chairs." He laughed. He had the chairs waiting for us and assigned us to the exact spot I wanted. He said that we were the only parents that showed up last year so, "Jorja's mom gets whatever she wants." Hahahaha! I like that rule! Bode's parents were assigned to be with us. We went to high school with Destiny, Bode's mom. Mike and Destiny were in student government together. Destiny was the head cheerleader. We got Destiny to play on the chairs once, but that was it. It was okay. Mike and I had sooooo much fun by ourselves. I can't imagine how bored I would be if I had to just sit there for three hours. Plus, the chairs made me feel powerful. I chased so many kids out!

Anyway, Morp was a huge success. Except Jorja wasn't happy with the DJ. I guess he would play all of the song and have a few seconds of silence while he was switching things. Someone even told her that their friends were planning on toilet papering her house because of it. Weirdos. The dance started off slow as usual. At first there was only the sophomore officers and some other student government people there. Jorja was so worried no one would come, so I'm guessing this part was quite stressful. The dance was packed by the end. A lot more people were here then to the Christmas dance we chaperoned last year.

 Jorja & Kylie

 Kylie, Jorja, Stephanie

 Jorja and Stephanie

 Everything was decorated with different sports. I won't bother to label all of them, because it is obvious. I wonder if Jorja liked being the delegator or if it stressed her out. I should ask her. Okay, I did. She said it stressed her out, but she liked being in charge. So, there you go.

 Nice Chungus jersey. My kids are obsessed with Chungus right now.

For some reason, I always love watching the kids dance to Sweet Caroline

This was not our best work, but here is just a bit of our chair dance.

If you look closely, you can find Jorja. She's number 64.

I like this one because Raychel come running up to me at the end. That makes me smile.

Raychel is John's little sister. John was Stockton's good friend up at Utah State. Raychel is also in student government with Jorja. Jorja likes her a lot.

Raychel and her friend

 And Jorja was worried no one would show up . . .

Lots of jumping

The end. Look how many people made it to the bitter end.

I wish I had started this next video a bit earlier. The student government all gets in a circle while everyone else stands around the edges. They start a chant and soon everyone piles in the middle chanting ALTA, ALTA. You can't see Jorja in the video, but she said she got demolished.

Okay, now it's really the end.

I found Jorja after this to give her her keys. Mike and I were taking off. Mr. Packer had already taken our chairs away. I tried to get Jorja to play with me on the chairs, but she wouldn't. I'm sure she will regret that someday. Jorja asked if she could go hang out with her Chick-Fil-A friends. I did not feel good about this. Her friends go to a different school, but they got work off and came here to support her. They have been so nice to her, I just felt anxious. Jorja and I negotiated a time. Then I told her she could go if she didn't kiss anyone, or even pair off with anyone. Again, I just had a feeling that she was super vulnerable today and she would let her guard down.

Once Jorja got home we had so much fun. We played Jackbox games together as a family. While she was gone, Isaac dropped a box off on our doorstep. We knew he was going to drop off something. We were trying to guess what it was. Jorja thought it would be notes that she wrote him. She was right. He wasn't mean about it. He wanted her to read the notes so she could remember how she felt about him. Jorja said she was really glad to have the notes back. She wanted them back, but didn't want to ask for them. She threw them all in the trash without reading them. I am sooooo glad she is over him. Isaac asked if they could go on a hike sometime and talk. Jorja told me that she felt she should meet with him. Not on a hike, but something smaller. She said the nicest thing he did was three months after he broke up with her he came over and talked to her. He listened and let her tell him how hurt she was. Now that I think about it, that was exactly a year ago. Anyway, she said she didn't want to be a roadblock for him, or a bad memory. If he needed to talk to her to move on, she wanted to let him do that. I love her. She is wise beyond her years.

Jorja

Stockton, Jorja and I stayed up for a looooong time. We laughed so hard. It was awesome. I asked Jorja if she wanted to talk to me about the dance while she was taking her makeup off or in her bed. She wanted to talk in bed. I went up to the guest room where Jorja has been sleeping lately. I had my phone that I was excited to show her pictures on. I was giddy with excitement to talk with her. She had worked so hard, and things had gone so well. I wanted to hear all about it. She crawled into bed and said she just wanted to write in her journal real quick. I said, "Sure. As long as you aren't writing about any kissing." She looked at me and my heart just dropped. I was so hurt. I know she is 16 and this is what 16 year olds do, but I felt so strongly that she should not kiss anyone today. It is hard to explain why I felt that way, but I did. I was also hurt because I felt lied to. We made a contract. I agreed to let her go with her Chick-Fil-A friends, and she agreed to not kiss them. She kissed a boy named Mitchell. I know she kind of likes him, but I feel not good about this at all. I don't know how I can trust Jorja. I was very clear about what I expected. I have many reasons for asking this of her, which I'm not going to go into detail about here. I just felt disregarded and disrespected. Needless to say, the end of the day didn't turn out how I hoped it would.