Den Meeting

I have been so worried about my new scout calling that I can't keep the tears out of my eyes.  I keep thinking of everything that could go wrong. I also feel like I am going to need to apologize to the boys and their moms that they have me instead of Sue.  I just can't wrap my head around it yet.  Mike told me that I needed to fast about it, so that is what I decided to do.

Today we had our last Presidency meeting.  Lots of tears there too! Jacqui is so nervous about her new calling!  She has been called as the __________.  That would be way worse than scouts!  I told them that I was taking Sue's calling.  They thought I would do a great job.  I just cried and told them all of my worries.  I told them I wasn't convinced that this is what Heavenly Father wanted me to do, that it was probably just an afterthought calling.  "We need someone, oh look, she is available.....let's get her."  Then I said that the only thing I could think of for calling me to this is I went to high school with Griffin's mom. She would probably feel comfortable sending Griffin to me.  They are non members who live in our ward and Griffin has been coming to Sue for scouts every week.  Also, Blake just turned 8.  He is also a non member on our street and one of Preston's good friends.  I could probably get him to come to scouts.  Becky said, "What could be more of a reason than to call you to this group at this time.  If you could give two non member boys positive interactions with the church at this age, what could be greater?"  I know.  Still, it's scary.

I sent Sue a text asking her if I could talk.  She wrote back and asked if I was the new wolf leader.  I told her I was and I was terrified.  She invited me to their den meeting that was today.  Judy was out of town so it was easy for her to say she invited me for extra help.  They did a bead craft.  The boys are great, but crafts!  Yikes!  I can't even begin to describe how much I detest crafts!  I actually like doing them if someone is right next to me helping me with every step.  If I am in any way in charge I feel like my head will explode.

Sue talked to me after the meeting.  She explained different parts of her calling and things she has been doing.  She also told me that Sister Madsen had told her she was going to ask for me to replace her.  That made me feel better somehow, knowing that this calling came from Sister Madsen and not just from some big list that needs to be filled.  I know they are changing a lot of things right now.  Anyway, somehow that knowledge made me feel better.

Later tonight I ended my fast.  I prayed to Heavenly Father asking if this calling was from Him and what He wanted me to do now.  I got an overwhelming answer that was undeniable.  I don't know why, but I feel that yes, this is what Heavenly Father needs and wants me to do at this time.  I am so thankful for this answer.  For some reason I really needed it with this calling.  Maybe I needed it so I would be able to let go of my girls.  I sure am going to miss them.