I have been procrastinating and procrastinating writing this entry. I have no idea how much I should put down. I try to use this as my journal, but some things are too personal to have out there for anyone to read. At the same time, when my children look back and read what I have written, I don't want them to think I was perfect, that everything worked out for me and I never got my feelings hurt. Today my feelings were hurt bad. I cried all night and all day. I found out my brother and his family came up from New Mexico for Christmas. I had no idea they were coming. If I had known I would have switched my trip to the cabin so I could see them. At least I would have tried. Late last night I got a text asking if I was free tomorrow. I randomly woke up around midnight and saw it. I wrote back right away because I was worried I would miss my chance to see them. I told Mike I was free all day and please fit us in. We would come to them, they didn't need to come to us. I couldn't sleep all night. I was so sad that my own brother doesn't bother to let me know when he is in town. Maybe it wouldn't have hurt so bad if this was the first time, but it's not. Last time I found out he was in town when he posted a picture of himself at a BYU game. He didn't even stop to see me then, so I guess I can be grateful that he at least texted me. I begged him never to do that to me again. This time hurt so much because I had told him how bad my feelings were hurt last time. Didn't seem to matter. I can't imagine traveling to New Mexico to visit family (yes, I realize this is fictional family) and not even let my brother know I was there. I guess that did happen to us once. We came to Utah the summer after Sharen died. We had a family get together the night before we left. That is when we found out that Lisa didn't even know we were in town. Sharen had always taken care of that, so we didn't even think about it. We just assumed she had plans and couldn't make time for us. The point is, I realize how this can happen but it still hurts not to be important. There is no way this would ever happen if my mom were alive. Mike would never do that to my mom. I guess I just miss being in a family where people want to be. I came really close to asking Mike if he just wanted to be done with me. I couldn't do it because I didn't want to hear the answer. I figured if I just assumed he didn't want to see me unless I travel to New Mexico it wouldn't hurt when this happens, because I assume it is going to happen again.
Anyway, I cried all morning knowing Mike was in town but not knowing if I could see him. Finally around noon I sent a text asking if he decided if he had time for me. He called me about thirty minutes later and said he would try to make it down. A couple of hours later he texted me and said he was planning to come around 6 and wanted to know if he could invite a few friends. I asked him if I could get the rest of the family over to see him. He was okay with that. I called my dad and asked if he could do dinner. My house was still out of control from Christmas and traveling. I worked my tail off getting it half way decent. Luckily my dad and my other two brothers and their families dropped whatever they were doing so they could come and see Mike. Mike's friend, Terry, and his family came up. I told Mike that was okay and it was, but at the same time it was annoying. We only got to see Mike and his family for a couple of hours and we had to share it with someone. I would love to have time to catch up with both Mike and Christen, but with a friend there who didn't know the rest of us....I didn't feel like I could. Instead I went downstairs and played with the kids. That was really fun. Mike's kids are adorable and I don't get to see them often.
Skye
Larkin
Larkin and Ella
Blake
Millie and Jorja
Stockton made a Wheel of Doom game in the movie room. He put everyone who was in the room on a wheel and then would spin it. The name that came up first was out. Abby lost first.
Preston (Jorja just lost)
Millie won! Everyone was going nuts cheering for her. It was so funny!
Ange and Millie
The next wheel Stockton made he put everyone in the entire house on it and also Mr. Potatohead. The kids were cheering like crazy. I was laughing pretty hard.
Everyone was upset when Mr. Potatohead lost.
The final two. It came down to Blake and Mike Smith
Blake told me that he was controlling it through the GameCube controller. He took it very seriously. These kids are sure competitive!
Blake and Jorja
Look at that concentration! Favorite picture right here.
Boo! Blake lost, but Jorja made him happy
when she picked him up and twirled him around.
Two of Bubs' kids had Blake and Parker for Christmas. One of Mike's kids also had Abby. Perfect place to exchange.
Mike and Parker
Christen and Blake
Blake loved the basketball
Abby LOVED her book!
It came with Disney princess pets
Time for them to leave. I don't want them to go! Mike said that Larkin asked Santa for an Expos hat. He laughed and said, "She wasted a Santa gift on an Expos hat! She could have just asked her Dad and he would have loved to get that for her!" What a sweet girl. She sure knows what would make her dad happy!
Larkin and Stephanie
Stephanie and Blake
Blake didn't want to get his picture taken with me until Mike said, "They want a picture of second place!" Then he was all smiles. Haha!
He held up a number 1 first
Mike corrected him and told him to hold up number 2
Bubs had already left before this picture was taken. I love my family.
Matt, Mike, Stephanie
Tonight was a lot of fun. I'm glad that Mike was able to come and see us. The roads ended up being terrible and they were caught in traffic for a long time. Too bad. That is what they will probably remember about the night. I hope they don't hold that against us. I had wanted everything to be perfect so they would want to see us again.
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