Making Bricks

I snapped a picture of Jorja with her other student government shirt. All the freshman class officers are wearing them today.

Jorja

I went on a field trip with Preston today. Isaac's mom was also there with Ben. I texted Jorja that I was on a field trip with Isaac's mom. Jorja texted me back this picture. They were in biology.

Jorja & Isaac

I was assigned to the brick making station with one other mom. She switched to the candle making station though. I made bricks all day. It got kind of lonely, despite the many 5th graders surrounding me. I was so happy when I finally saw Preston. I didn't get great pictures of him, mostly because my fingers were covered in mud and I was a little bit worried about ruining my phone.

Preston

I sat by Isaac's mom and another lady named Stephanie at lunch. I texted this picture back to Jorja. This is from the bus ride home.

Mindy (Isaac's mom) and Stephanie

 Preston and Stephanie

I was pretty tired by the time I got home. Which wasn't good because when I'm tired my memory is worse than usual. Jorja and I both forgot about her standing babysitting appointment. They called when we were fifteen minutes late. Whoops! We hurried her over there as fast as possible. I talked to Maysen today. She was sad. She had a hard day. She had her orientation at the zoo tonight. I talked to her before orientation. I called her after to find out how she was doing. She sounded so happy afterwords. I guess she enjoys being around animals. I have a hard time relating to that.

I had an upsetting phone call tonight. Actually it is now a week later. For some reason I let this phone call get to me and it has been bothering me for a long time. I haven't wanted to write about it, which is why I'm so far behind. I thought about making this blog private so I could write all my feelings, but for some reason making this blog private will make me feel even more isolated from the world. I know that's weird because not many people read it, which I'm 100% okay with. This is here for my children, it just makes me sad to block it. I might have to do it in the future though. Anyways, a lady I have never met was mad at me. She accused me of doing things I have no recollection of doing. The frustrating thing is I struggle with my memory, mostly my short term memory. I struggle a lot. The lady wouldn't give me information that I needed so I could explain myself or defend myself. Basically I was told I was a horrible person and that one of my children did bad things. I tried to explain that what they thought my child did never happened, but this lady wouldn't believe me. I know I need to just let this go. I know people are going to hate me, lots of people do. I just have been so lonely lately. The worst thing was I wracked and wracked my brain to try to figure out what this lady was talking about and it became clearer and clearer that I have no friends. Some people like me, but I have no one I can call when I am struggling. I have no mom. No mother-in-law. My kids don't need me anymore. I teach little kids in primary without a team teacher. I feel so alone. I tried reaching out to a couple of people around here awhile ago asking if I could go on a walk with them. I never heard back from the one person. The other person was out of town, so hopefully I'll be able to go interact with someone next week. This Sunday the husband of the lady that called me came up to talk to me at a fireside. I had purposely avoided him, but he sought me out. He asked how I was doing and I just started crying. I ended up leaving and hiding on the stage. After I thought my eyes weren't so red I came and sat on the couch in the foyer. Anyways, sorry about my sadness. I am going to try to hurry and post a lot of things so this gets buried, but it was just a hard day and has been a hard week.