Jorja missed school today so she could go do a job shadow. She was assigned to go to eBay. She had a great time. She ended up working with a party planner. This lady plans all of eBay's big events. Jorja was excited and said she didn't even know that was a real job. I think that job sounds like torture! Jorja thought it would be fun. At least she would be able to plan things with other people's money. Paying for things is the hardest part!
Jorja
Heading to eBay
Stockton and I went shopping for a few more things he needed for him mission. We had lunch together at Pizza Limone. It was fun and nice and a little sad. When the kids were all home we played the diving game Stockton and Preston made. I wanted to play Cootie again, but we ran out of time. Bubs stopped by in-between reffing games. That was nice.
Bubs & Stockton
It took Stockton about an hour to shave off his beard. Once that was done, before we knew it the Stake Presidency was at our door. They had each of us say something to Stockton. I recorded it, so this is what was said.
Preston: I don't know. I'm going to miss him. It's going to be really sad.
Jorja: (sobbing) I love you Stockton, and I'm going to miss you a lot. Thanks for being my best friend all the time and I love you.
Stephanie: I'm going to miss you, it's going to be hard for me but I'm proud of you and I'm glad that you've chosen to do this. And I think, that what we've talked about before, that it's all going to be about your attitude; and if you throw yourself in and decide that you're all 100% in and that you want to do your best so that you have no regrets, I think the time will go by way faster for you. And it will for us too, because if we know you're happy, then we aren't going to be hurting for you. You know what I mean? I had a cousin that when emails first started and they would write back and forth, the mom said it was a lot harder for that one because she knew when he was sad all the time, and he ended up coming home early. It was just a really big struggle, and I think that he just couldn't let go of home. But I think if you're all in, 100% in, you are going to be able to look back with no regrets, it will go faster than you realize and you are just going to be so happy if you decide to follow the rules. But you're a rule follower, so I'm not worried about that. But I think the biggest thing is just attitude, especially with companions, you know. If you have a companion that just is hard, just try. Pray every day to figure out a way to love them, to see some good in them, and try to serve them. Eventually you'll be able to see some good and it will make the time...., you know, don't dwell on the things that bug you. What is that thing? It's whatever you water. If you try to look for the good you are going to eventually see some good, but if you are always bugged with the bad it is just going to drive you insane. But yeah, I'm proud of you but I'm going to miss you.......I'm glad you're going, but I'm sad.
Mike: I don't know if you guys already talked about this in your mission prep that you took, but a lot of times as you study the mission stuff in the morning you'll read these quotes from church leaders. There was one that was pretty famous from Gordon B. Hinckley when he was struggling early on in his mission. Do you remember that story at all? {Stockton: yeah, I do} Mike: And what was the advice his dad gave him? {Stockton: Forget yourself and go to work} Mike: So if you focus your time on serving others then things will go a lot better for you. I'm also going to tell you just a silly story, okay? I told you that my friend from Brazil came up here, so this girl was the Branch President's wife when I was serving in one of the areas, we lived essentially in their house, on the other side of a wall. Super neat lady. She and her husband struggled to have kids. Couldn't have kids, really wanted kids. For years served all the kids in the ward because she couldn't have her own. Well, when we went and saw her, her husband passed away last year and on top of that she has a very bad lung disease. All these things that have been problematic for her. Can't have kids, she really wants to, has this disease and her husband dies. And I said, "How are you doing? How are you handling all this?" And she said, "I remembered the story about the toad." So I'm going to tell you the story about the toad. So, this story used to be called the Mormon Toad, but we're going to say now that it is the toad that is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There's three toads hopping around on a farm and the farmer had left this big bucket of cream out while he's doing the chores, milking the cows and that kind of thing. So, these three toads are hopping along like toads do and they decide they want to hop in the bucket and drink the cream because that sounds delicious. So they do. The problem is, it's a lot deeper than they thought and the bucket is a lot bigger than they thought and they were kind of over their heads. The first toad doesn't have any belief in anything, so he's like, you know what? I'm dead, I give up, I got nothing and he drowns. The second toad, he's like hey, no problem, I believe in God, God will deliver me, I just have to sit here and God will take care of it. Well, he drowns too. The third frog, he's like, I believe in God, but I'm going to do everything I can to get out of here while I wait for God's blessings to help me and he'll give me the strength to overcome this if I have faith in him. So that frog kicks his feet, kicks his feet, kicks his feet treading water in the cream, meanwhile the whole time he's praying and eventually that cream, you know what happens to cream if you whip it up for a long time? You guys ever done that in school? It turns into butter and so by keep struggling and praying, that toad was able to sit on top of the butter and hop out. And it's a silly, stupid story but her husband had shared that in a sacrament meeting once and my companion and I had found this plastic toad and we stuck it in a margarine bin and snuck it in their fridge. When they opened the fridge, they saw this toad and they were spooked, then they laughed; and she still talks about it to this day. Just a silly story like that to inspire faith and remind us that God will help you, but he expects us to do the work. If you work hard on your mission and forget yourself and serve other people then you will be able to overcome every challenge that's thrown your way. Everybody keeps telling you it's the hardest time of your life and it is true that it's hard, but it's also the time you will get the most help from Heavenly Father. You're doing His work, you deserve His help, and if you ask for it, if you ask Him to send angels to support you He will do that. I can testify of that from my own experience on my mission. He will help you like never before.
Stephanie: Jorja, that's the same that goes for you. The two years will go a lot faster if you throw yourself into service too, into helping other people around you instead of thinking about Stockton being gone. Just try to look around for people that are sad, and try to make them happy. The more you do that the faster it will go too. And Heavenly Father is going to bless you also with having him gone.
Mike: That's true. I'm glad you're leaving because we can use some blessings. We're ready to collect.
This is when I realized that we should have been FaceTiming Maysen. I quickly called her and she was able to say something to Stockton.
Maysen: I was talking to my minister the other day because he was asking me about my weekend and I told him I was coming down to see you and I asked if he had any advice for you and he said try really hard to listen to the Spirit and don't be too afraid and the Spirit will be there to help you. So live worthily and that's what's important. Prioritize the gospel and work hard. Don't let people get on your nerves. Just be patient and respectful and do what God wants you to do.
President Clayton, President Clark, President Morton
President Morton: Congratulations on such a wonderful, close family. It's so tender and wonderful. It reminds me of Preston. He's got a tender little heart there, and I know how much he's going to miss his brother. And I know how hard it's going to be for Jorja and for mom and dad. These are challenging times because you work so hard as a family to be so close and as a parent you find out, that to really do your job well you've got to prepare them to be off on their own. Which is somewhat contrary to what your heart feels in some ways, so it's really difficult. In Stockton, I just see such a tender young man, I can just tell he's got such a good heart. I'm so excited to hear the stories and see the successes that he has. We have a daughter in Costa Rica and she's been there for about three months. I'm going to share just a quick story that I shared with her. You've had some wonderful advice, and it's going to be kind of similar to what your mom has mentioned to you. Our daughter Katie is so worried about so much about her mission and then she's so worried about her family. Lately she just wants to know what's going on. I think ultimately it's almost making it more difficult for her to really focus on the work, as your mom indicated. You've got to find a way to focus on other things. I was trying to send her scriptures the last three or four weeks. Yesterday I sent her a story. I know President Clark and President Clayton have heard this. I took quite a few philosophy classes when I was going to the U. I studied a Russian novelist named Leo Tolstoy. He wrote a paper called The Three Questions. It layers right into what you need to focus on. Essentially the paper, to summarize it, this young man was going to be a king. He wanted to be the best king he could, so he wanted the answer to three questions. Who is the most important person? When is the time for me to do something for them? and What is it I'm supposed to do? He had asked all these scholars and tried to find the answers to these questions. He really couldn't find anything he felt comfortable with until one day, he came across an old man that was in town and he asked him these questions. The old man looked at him and said, "Here's the answer to your questions. The most important person is the person that you are with at that time." While you are on your mission, the most important persons are going to be your companion, your mission president, and your investigators. Who you're with. Those are the most important people to you. That's who you should focus on. Number two, when is the best time? The time is now. It's really the only time you have control of. You can't fix the past, the future, to some extent, is out of your hands, but you could control the present. So that's what you have to focus on now. What an exciting opportunity for you. And then, what is it you're supposed to do? Well, Leo Tolstoy went through kind of a spiritual revival and essentially what he came to was that is to do good. To serve and to love. That's essentially the focus that you need to have. You need to focus on the people you're with, you need to focus on the present and you need to love and serve them. And I want you to know, Stockton, that I have a testimony of this gospel. I know it's true. I know we both have a Savior that loves us. He died for us so that we could return to live with our Father in Heaven. You have a beautiful message to share, and you have a reason to share it. Because of this family that you have, this eternal family who's going to be back here kneeling down and praying for you every single night. You can share that beautiful gift, that message that you have. You can share the love that you have with the people that you are going to be with. I'm excited to hear about this. You are a wonderful young man. I want you to know that I love you.
President Clayton: This has been a wonderful night, some amazing wise council has been given. And you'll want to take the opportunity as soon as we're done and certainly before you go to bed tonight, to write down the things that you remember that you've been taught and refer to those. I like to just briefly teach you a principle that I call the box. This is an imaginary box that you have. You take it with you on your mission and it goes up on a shelf. All during the week you're working hard, you know the box is on the shelf, but you don't worry about it. Then on preparation day, you get the box down and you get inside. And that's where letters from family are, thoughts about home. Maybe not so much about what you are missing at home, but what about my future at home. What am I learning on my mission? What am I going to do with my life? There's a time and a place where you think about what's in the box, for an hour on preparation day and then you close up the lid and put it back on the shelf and you don't have to worry about it, 'cause it's right there on the shelf. It's going to be hard to leave this family, but you keep them in the box. They're waiting for you. And every week you can reconnect with family, then you put the box away and you give everything to the Lord. It's all His. Everything. You don't hold anything back. Now this thought just came to me while your dad was telling this amazing story about the toad, the member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints toad. This is about the fourth toad. One little thing that your dad forgot to tell you was that when the frogs first jumped in the cream, they tasted the cream and it was amazing, they've never had anything like that. They were in heaven, this is incredible. They had a great experience there, but then two of the frogs kind of got overwhelmed and lost because of their circumstances in their mission. The third frog found out an incredible secret. You work hard, you pray hard, you paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, it turns into butter, you can jump out. Well the fourth frog is trying to jump into the bucket and he only made it half way. One leg in the cream, one leg outside. And he tried really hard to get to the cream, but he felt he was going to fall in. So he tried to paddle a little bit with one leg and he found out that he couldn't sit on the fence. He either had to be all in our all out. So he jumped out, and he missed out on tasting the cream. Which was amazing and incredible. And more importantly, he missed out on learning an important principle that would serve him the rest of his life. That's when you are all in Heavenly Father can do things with you that he can't do if you are sitting on the rim of the bucket. Or if you jump out. So that's the fourth frog. You get up on the rim and you think "Am I falling?" You say, "I'm going to go for it." You taste the cream, it's amazing, you paddle hard, it turns to butter 'cause Heavenly Father's with you. He can use you when you are all in. So the gospel is true and I just hope you have an amazing life changing experience. It will be most life changing if you forget about what you're learning and just focus on what the Lord wants you to do and be his servant 100%.
President Clark: That was great. I loved the toad story, I loved the box, the fourth toad, the three questions. What great advice you've had. Stockton, I believe you're going to be a great missionary. I think that you've worked hard to prepare. You're intelligent. You're kind. You have a really engaging smile, and you'll find something really interesting; and that is, I have yet to have a missionary come home and say, "You know, that was easier than I had supposed." As hard as we've worked, as hard as you've worked, as hard as you're parents have to prepare you, the actual experience is always more difficult. It's more discouraging. There are greater anxieties. I forgot what you have told me, have you spent time in Tucson before? {Stockton: I spent time in Phoenix when my plane didn't take off.} I was raised in Arizona, so I love the desert and I'm completely at home there. I'm a toad that doesn't even look for the cream. I'm just happy in the shade, but I will tell you that one of the challenges is the heat. The climate is brutal if you haven't been there before. There's dust, and the sun, and that experience, and there are challenges associated with the climate. Now I don't know if it is any more difficult than if you had been called to Houston and faced humidity and hurricanes. {Stephanie: His cousin is in Chicago right now.} Chicago? That's a real challenge. {Note: Chicago was currently experiencing record breaking lows. Something crazy like -50 below. Stockton would do much better with heat than cold.} You know, there are all these things, but wherever a missionary goes they encounter things that are unique to that place that are a challenge. You go with a strong testimony, you have a conviction inside of yourself. You know already that every person you encounter needs what you have to share with them. Part of the discouragement is that they don't know they need it, and they won't listen a lot of them. After awhile you'll find, gee, am I really doing any good? That thought will come to you. And it's worse if you have a companion who comes from a background different than yours, and whose interests are totally different than yours. And as kind as you know how to be, they're still snippy and ornery and critical and and and, does this ever happen? Anyway, I want you to just understand that context and I'll tell you what the key is. The key is simply humility. It is that we're there to show our love to our Heavenly Father and to serve Him by serving those we are with. Sometimes it will be your companion who needs you more than anybody. Sometimes it will be a less active member of the church. It might be a young man who is teetering on wether to go on a mission and you'll be invited to teach a lesson in priest quorum. It might be a family who you are teaching and that one out of a hundred who understands, who the light turns on for them. And when you're sitting in a room like this with somebody who doesn't yet understand the gospel, and you bare your testimony to them, it will feel like the angels are coming through the ceiling to be there. And that powerful experience is what will drive you to say, "This is the best time of my life!" But those moments that make this the best time of your life aren't there 100% of the time. You got to slog through it, you got to be humble, and you've got to be diligent. And you've got to decide that you're going to wake up at the right time, even when you're miserable. And all of that just takes character. It takes character and a decision that you are going to be what the Lord wants you to be. And if you'll approach your mission like that, there will be these marvelous blessings that will come to you, and you'll be amazed at the good that will fall from it.
Stockton
Stockton: I guess I already said a lot in my farewell, you know most of what I've been thinking about, getting to this point. I realized awhile ago when I was deciding to serve this mission I wanted to wait until I was ready, I wanted to make sure about that. Finally I just had to get to a point where I realized that if I wait until I'm 100% ready to do this, I'm never going to go. I decided to go through all the steps and do what I knew was right even though I didn't know exactly what was going to happen. Even when I was doing the mission papers and everything I didn't immediately figure out if this was the right time for me to go or not, but just over the course of doing that I figured that out. This is what the Lord wants me to do, this is the time and I know that my mission will be that same way and I guess that is about it. Thanks for getting me to this point and I guess that's it. I'll miss you a lot.
Jorja & Stockton (Our stake president in the background)
President Morton, Stockton, President Clark, President Clayton
They told Stockton that he was now officially a missionary and needed to follow the missionary rules. Including bedtime, waking up and always having a companion with him. Even if the companion was Preston. I asked them if we could play one more game as a family. They were a little hesitant, but ended up giving us permission. We played one of the escape room games. It was so fun! We picked one of the easy ones so we would for sure get Stockton to bed on time. What a way to end the day. That and a missionary dog pile. We are always totally serious around here.
Stockton -> Jorja -> Preston -> Stephanie
