99 Days

I felt a little sad this morning. I was looking through Jorja's texts on her phone when I saw that she said something about me. She was texting Jake and said sorry about being in a bad mood last night "my mom was being so mean." WHAT? When was I mean? When I made her breakfast? When I made her lunch? When I checked her out of school so she could sleep? When I talked Mike into letting her go to Cornbelly's when he didn't want her to go? Even though I don't like Riley and knew he would be there? We literally had no disagreements yesterday. How was I so mean? I asked Jorja about it. She said she was in a bad mood so she blamed me. I don't mind her using me as a scapegoat when she wants to go home or get out of an uncomfortable situation, but I'm sick of being the villain in all of her stories. Her friends must think I'm the worst mom ever. I miss my babies. I loved being a mom to my little ones. It was hard, but I loved every second of it. Even when I was alone in Georgia, I would look around my life and try to memorize it because I loved it so much. Now my kids don't need me and I hate it. I know they will want me to be a part of their life again, but now I just feel so unwanted. Mike is and has always been awesome. I just want my kids back. Preston did spend time with me today though. He asked if I would take him to get an eclair. He LOVES those things. We shared a pizza and brought home eclairs for dinner. We got a pumpkin doughnut for Maysen.

Jack couldn't come over today because he has covid. He found out on Friday. Luckily he cancelled last week because of Young Mens. Mike and I were downstairs watching the World Series when Jorja came down and mentioned that Stockton had 99 days left. WHAT! I was so sad! I missed the clock turning! I was probably at lunch with Preston when the clock turned, but drat!

Jorja went with Brenton after dinner to answer Ella to the Halloween dance. I am glad she was able to hang out with him for a bit, he has been a really good friend to her.